just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
