Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
