Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
