he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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