I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
