we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
