is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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