I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
