hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
