In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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