i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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