I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
