remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
