stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
