i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
