dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
