Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
