She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
