lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
