I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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