Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
