She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
