summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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