Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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