after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
