I wanna bring you to show and tell
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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