You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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