respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
