Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
