so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
you are never too drunk for berry picking
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
