he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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