dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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