if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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