I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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