May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
