what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
