We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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