i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
