Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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