Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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