you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I have tasted many bathrooms
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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