YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
