Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
