And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
