One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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