drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
