he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
