Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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