ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
