it's too hot outside to masturbate.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
