I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
