i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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