were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
