dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
