as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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