That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
