saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Randomize
