i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
