So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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